"When Love Gets Scary:" True Story

Talk about myself? Well I’m 13. I’m just over 5 feet. My hair’s black, kinda on the short side. I never think of myself as belonging to any one group. Mostly, I just like hanging out with friends and doing whatever. Sometimes we go shopping or blading, but most of the time we just sit around and talk. They’re real cool buds, we never really have to worry about guys getting between us. Lindsay, she’s way more developed than the rest of us and the guys just dig her, always has someone following her around but it’s not like that’s all she’s about. I’m the only one that hasn’t had a real BF or anything. My buds say your turn’s coming or I know so-and-so would love to go out with you but I’m just not good at that kinda thing.

I met Rick a coupla months ago. He was just hanging outside our school with some of the seniors. I don’t now any of them. They won’t even look at us underclassmen but when I walked past, Rick smiled at me and I smiled back and that was it. My friends teased me about him but nothing more happened for a coupla days.

He was outside school again only that group of guys wasn’t there and he had this real cool car. I walked past and he looked at me and smiled and said hi. I said hi and then we started talking. He offered to drive me home or to the mall or whatever and I just said yes. I wasn’t nervous or anything. He just drove me home and we talked and it was just cool. Well after that he was just there every night after school and we’d drive around and sometimes go make out. After about a month Rick started asking me to tell my parents I was spending the night at Lindsay’s or Dana’s house and then we’d go to his place.

It was really cool at first, all my friends were dating guys in our grade, but Rick’s already graduated from high school. Anyway, we’d just hang out and stuff and make out but we never went all the way. But then I started making excuses to get out of going over to Rick’s. It just got too scary for me. He got really angry after about the third time I told him I had to do stuff with my parents. He told me the next time he told me to do something with him I’d sure better. I was made and I told my friends and now they don’t like him. But I guess I should have made excuses. He is my BF.

Well he asked me to come over last weekend and I said OK I’d be there. We were just doing the usual stuff making out and touching and stuff and then he said he wanted to do it. I got kinda scared. None of my friends are going that far. It’s not like I don’t know anyone that has, I mean people do it all the time, it’s just not something me and my friends are ready for. Anyway, I wigged out and left and went to Lindsay’s house. I was crying and Lindsay told her mom and then my mom showed up. I was sooo mad at Lindsay for telling her mom and about my mom finding out.

My mom said it wasn’t her fault and that Lindsay did the right thing and how could I be going out with a 19 year old. “You know we’d never let you do that” was what she said. That’s why I couldn’t tell her. Anyway my mom and I talked and she told me that it was illegal for Rick to be doing these things. He could go to jail for it! She called it statutory rape. Lindsay and I never heard of it. Mom said it means that Lindsay and I aren’t old enough to consert to have sex with someone four or more years older than us. It was kinda confusing but mom said there’s a law like that because older guys are more experienced and can talk girls into doing things they may not want to.

I guess I kinda agree with her. I mean, I was uncomfortable with a lot of the things Rick was telling me but I didn’t want him to think I wasn’t as mature as him. I’m really glad I didn’t have sex with him. Mom started to tell me all this gross stuff about how a lot of girls that are with older guys end up getting pregnant, a lot more than girls who are with guys that are their own age. I guess older guys just want that. Then she started talking about condoms and AIDS and just really grossed me out. Lindsay and I got out of there real fast.

Rick’s called me a few times and showed up after school but I just told him I couldn’t talk and stuck with my friends. I haven’t seen him in weeks. I still miss him and I really liked having a boyfriend. But not like that. Next time, it’ll be different.